Bounce

We jump on trampolines as if to get to Heaven, but we walk on hell and we forget it's there. A pilgrim made his progress, but is progress ever enough? We reach what we call salvation, and then we stop reaching for God. What if God one day decided that all of those people that don't live as if they've been saved didn't deserve their salvation, so He took it away? What would we say? Would we still wear Christianity like the latest trend? Or would our lives clean up?

God has the power to take it away. Not that He would ever take away your salvation, but just remember that if He wanted to, He could.

Red slippers

I've become Dorothy in this wonderful Land of Oz. Everything seems to be perfect. I'm with my friends all of the time, I don't have to worry about school or about a job, I have no commitments. It was in fact, fun while it lasted, but I'm not a child anymore. I'm a man. In order to be treated like one, I have to start acting like one. The lips that were continuously shared on couches have left a sick feeling in my stomach, and have possibly turned me off to sharing my lips with any other person. The smacking sounds I endured from both food and kissing have destroyed me. I simply need a break from everything.

I might not see my friends for a while. I have to piece everything together. Bye.

Blankets.

I'm going home in the morning. I'm excited. The comfort of my own bed. I've been messed up in the stomach for the last week because I haven't been home. I'm growing tired of being around my friends 24/7 even though I love them to death. Family comes first. Hallelujah.

Breakable.

I hate fighting. So much. If I see another fight at a Jackson show, I might stop going.

Snip snip.

Today we went to the 4 C's to look around for stuff, and we found the perfect gift for Vicki. We had to scrape together whatever change we had. Teamwork. I helped a black man put a tv in the back of his Jeep and went back to the car to find more change for the gift. When I came back, the man handed me a five dollar bill. Of course, I rejected it. He insisted. Well, I had lunch money for the day. The Burger King dollar menu rules beyond belief. JP and I got the quarter pounders for a dollar. It was great. Life is good right now. No complaints. I saw my mom today for the first time in four weeks. She asked me how I was. I told her I was doing good. I got my acceptance letter from Hinds Community College today. That was a plus! Getting into college isn't fun. Being there, is. Hopefully I can get into the barber school.

Stretching the rope before tying the knot.

Night number 2 went pretty well in the garage. There wasn't any Taylor Swift to accompany us this time, but the heat is. The heater we've acquired isn't new, but it's new to us, and for that we're grateful. The talk we had last night would probably go towards the top of the list; at least in my book it would. We talked about how I've met my wife, and how she doesn't know it yet. We talked about how I believe she's the one God has set for me, but it's just not time yet for me to make a move. There are a lot of things that I have to get straight with the Lord before I can pursue her. Until I'm ready, I have to get to know her more. She said I'd have a chance if she dated, but she doesn't date, because she's too in love with Jesus, and that's why I'm so attracted to her. She's being fair to her future husband, and after hearing that, I suppose I should start being fair to my future wife. It isn't fair that I share lips with someone else before I get married. It's as if we're engaged, and I'm having relationships with other women before we tie the knot. There really isn't anything fair about that. I've been told women know who they're going to marry as soon as they see the person. I guess I got in touch with my feminine side for once. She's so into God, that she hasn't even thought about who her husband is going to be. She says God will show her when He's ready. The way I basically have this figured out is like this: We're two pieces to a three-pieced puzzle. She has the connection with the Lord, but doesn't know who she's going to marry. And I've found who I'm going to marry, but I'm not as connected to God as I should be. So we fit together, completing each other, for right now, and God comes in and fills the third spot. I pray every night for her now. I pray that God shows her that I'm there, and I pray that she continues her pursuit of Him. Then I pray that I clean up my act enough to chase her. God, give me the strength to make this work for her. She deserves my best.

Lucky Charms.

Yesterday, I began living in my best friend's garage alongside my best friend. Taylor Swift and brotime keep us up late into the night. The cold woke me up this morning. The heater we have wasn't as good as the money his parent's spent on it. We laugh about living in the garage. It's the simple things in life that make us happy. I hope to see my dear friend Samantha tomorrow. It's been quite a while since I have. Honestly, night time is my favorite time to see her, but I suppose I'll take it however I can get it. That last part sounded weird to me, but I'll keep it, because laziness keeps my right pinky finger from reaching up to the backspace key long enough to remove the words I mistakenly wrote. I'm content enough with the content in this blog. It's weird how the adjective "content" and noun "content" are spelled the same, but sound different. The English vocabulary is a funny one to me.

Falling.

I've been a Christian for as long as I can remember. Seriously, my memory does not go past the time I accepted Jesus into my heart. I was five, so it's reasonable that I can't remember anything before that. I guess that makes me 13 years old as a Christian. Ah, the teenage years.

I was never a Christian because it was the "cool thing to do"; I was a Christian because it was the only thing to do. I was five, and my father was a Baptist preacher. It was sort of expected from me. Just because it was the only thing to do, does not at all mean that I didn't mean it. I meant every bit of that prayer I prayed. I still mean every bit of that prayer I prayed.

I always hear people say that when you're that young, you can't really mean what you say, but to be honest with you, that is ridiculous. In Matthew 18, Jesus says unless we become like children, we will never enter into the kingdom of Heaven. A heart is so simple at that stage in your life. The innocence inside of you allows you to see things in black and white, and at that age, Jesus seems to be the whitest of whites. What five year old wouldn't want to be forgiven for all the wrong they'll ever do? Stealing cookies is a deadly sin.

Just because I was the son of a preacher and was saved at the age of five does not at all mean that I was the "model child" growing up. Yes, I went to church every Sunday. Yes, I dressed nicely every Sunday. Yes, I knew all the answers to all the Sunday school trivia questions. To an adult, I might have been the model child, but the playground does terrible things to a child. You see an awful lot of corruption out there on the green grass. Lies were told to stop fingers from being pried off of the precious metal that made up the jungle gym. Dirt was thrown in angry rage because someone didn't get picked to play kickball. My first bad word escaped from my lips when I was in the third grade, after I told a girl I liked her, and she said "Eww." I still struggle with the same problems.

I've matured a lot since I was five. More questions come about with my faith, but that's healthy. If you don't question your faith, you never really own it. I've seen people who were once as dedicated to Jesus as I was, turn away and have nothing to do with Him again. No, I don't appear to be as dedicated now, as I was back then, but I'd say that my love for Him has definitely intensified. I've become more dependent of Jesus, thus making me love Him more and more everytime I hear His name.

The same words I learned when I was in the third grade have stuck with me even now. I've even added on to my vocabulary of awful things to say. The music I listen to doesn't really help me clean up my act any, and I suppose that that is the direction in which I wanted this to go. I listen to hardcore. I listen to the screaming, the bass pounding, the distorted guitars, the machine-gun of a drumset. All of it. I love it. Every single bit of it.

However, the lyrics for most of this music contain those four letter words that I so easily pronounce. Yes, there are Christian hardcore bands out there, and some of them are even my favorite bands, but my musical preferences change frequently. It seems like most songs out there now are about hating society, or hating someone because they've done me wrong. Vocalists put the same pens that they use to talk about changing the world down onto different papers that talk about destroying those who hurt them. But I can't talk about being a hypocrite.

I end up allowing myself to be caught up in the rage and anger that these bands so easily expel from their lips. I talk about how much I can't stand some people, while at the same time tell others about the love of Jesus. Is that really fair? Luckily, the same grace that saved me from the flames I deserved for stealing cookies as a child saves me from the flames I deserve now for being a hypocrite.

Ephesians 1:7-8 says "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding."

The blood of Christ saves me when I mess up, because God is so good to me. Living in the hardcore "scene" as a Christian is not as easy as people may think. I'm going to be looked at by all sorts of people, and since I'm a Christian, I'm going to be expected to act a certain way, and honestly, I should act a certain way so that my witness will be valid. Yet, I'm never going to be perfect. Fortunately, those verses remind me that I still have hope. I'm going to mess up. I'm not always going to be the Jesus that people need to see in me, but just because I let a few terrible words slip off of my tongue, doesn't mean that I can't get back up when I stumble.